What is Constructive Wallowing?
A way to move forward when you're stuck
Society tells us to put on a happy face whenever we feel blue. The result is, we end up ignoring what's true -- and avoiding our actual experience.
We end up feeling empty, lonely and stuck.
The Only Way Out is Through
Has something bad happened? Did someone say or do something that hurts when you think about it? Instead of turning away from the pain, try turning toward it.
When you immerse yourself in your real feelings with self-compassion, you experience emotional healing. The feelings move through you faster, and then they're gone.
You get yourself back, along with energy to start moving forward in the right direction. This feels great, so you become happier as you heal. And that happiness is not just a surface thing, but a deep joy that comes from feeling whole and good about who you are.
How does constructive wallowing fit in? It's the process you use to move through those hard emotions and out the other side, so you can get to where you want to be.
Constructive Wallowing: How to Beat Bad Feelings By Letting Yourself Have Them (Viva Editions, 2014) describes the counterintuitve but powerful truth about how difficult feelings can lead to greater happiness.
Wallowing constructively is not a just a skill but a lifestyle, a new way to be the best version of the same you.
Years ago as a young adult, I found myself feeling terribly unfulfilled with what should have been an exciting life in New York City and a career in television. I decided to seek counseling to find out what the heck was wrong with me.
My experience in therapy changed the course of my life.
Therapy gave me a new appreciation for the whole of a person, including the "messy" parts. I learned that these uncertain, wounded parts of us are infused with untapped energy that can be used to propel us in exactly the direction we want to go.